| Deviant Login | Shop | Join deviantART for FREE  |
Take the Tour  |
| Flash / Interactive | ©2010-2013 ~dio-03 |
who taught me how to kinda put my drawings into this format.
The Journal Portal
Browse Journals |
Polls |
deviantART [dee·vee·un'nt·ART]
Keep in Touch!
|
Deviousness `ChewedKandi has certainly gone out of her way to keep the vector community on the right path. Always making sure that her talents are infinitely scalable, Sharon has put her bezier curves to excellent use, and firmly anchored herself as an inspirational leader. We're absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for June 2013 to `ChewedKandi. Congratulations, Sharon! Read More
|
Sta.sh
Great work on chapter 4! The action flow is real nice and exciting!
People have already said this, but continue to work on your line flow, and line width variation for more depth and fluidity. I'm sure you will continue to level up as you work on this series. One other thing that stood out to me in the writing was Alexander's analysis on himself. I think after the EMP, and maybe 1 or 2 lines it was conveyed that he was weakened and needed to reconfigure, and you can just show via the battle that he's impaired. On the same thought, although Jo is telling the story right now, I think in the beginning and a couple sprinklings of his narration in the middle and end is good, but it doesn't need to keep going all throughout. That many narration moments has a way of breaking up the action instead of letting the action just flow out, and letting the viewer/reader just get into the moment, as if they are Jo, or are with Jo. A lot of the shots, if there was no narration, would still be understandable with what is going on through the expressions, body movement, and paneling which you did great on! However, the narration is great for building Jo's character and personality so it's really likeable- I just think there can be a balance between that and just showing the actions in panels.
Awesome job dude and I so look forward to seeing what happens next! I like the juxtaposition of the native Flying Hawk and Jo Hawke. Jo riding on the robot to fly was very cool. Keep it up dude and keep it going strong!
believe me i'm still working on the line-art debacle, I'm trying to figure out some type of dexterity, making myself only inking with a brush pen for now. As for the narration, you're also right on that point. I'm trying hard to figure out whats necessary to convey the story and what i can leave. its the strange conflicted reality of the writer/artist.
I'm glad you liked the things you did, and i AM working on fixing the things that you mentioned but the only sad thing is, that i won't be working on chapter 5 for the foreseeable future! i had mentioned a personal project of mine to you a while ago, right? well i'm in the middle of writing that, hoping to get a really worthwhile project out of it.
thanks for the support, eric!